You can die out of thinking

Over thinking, of course.

I received arguments from my dad and a few of my cousins when I told them that I want to do a part time  degree in Islamic studies next year. They of course suggest me to do it full time with my dad saying I might not be able to study well if I work and my cousins saying it's better to have a degree before I work.

Well my say is, I am a very organized person. I have my daily schedule and I never do last minute work. I obviously don't wish to settle down with a small salary, so I will complete my degree to earn more. And I need money. I cannot stand asking money from my parents and I have goals, I want to perform hajj when I'm 30 and I want to own a business.

I win.

Goals

Short term:
1. Work
2. Car
3. Marriage

Intermediate: in 5 years
1. Entrepreneurship

Long term: in 10 years
1. Hajj

Ya Rabb, please guide me

I do have this desire in me to be a good Muslim.

I long to cover up my body.

I long to be a qariah again.

I long to be able to understand the verses as I recite them.

I long to be like Siti Khadijah.  

I think, I should just proceed with Islamic studies for my degree. 

I'll take part time study mode in OUM.

No more second thought.

I don't live to work

Aku tak pernah tahu nak jadi apa - tak pernah tetap, selalu berubah. Tapi aku impikan impak - buat sesuatu yang orang nampak. Aku mahu tulisan aku sampai pada pembaca-pembaca. Aku mahu lagu aku sampai pada pendengar-pendengar. Ya, sedari kecil aku sangat suka menulis. Tapi aku masih juga bukan seorang author atau seorang composer. Aku tak mampu berkarya dan aku kecewa.

I started questioning what am I doing in university? What did I learn in school? Everyday is a struggle - a jading one. I struggle to find my true self. Betulkah aku patut menulis? Aku cuba bermacam-macam perkara dan setiap satunya langsung tak membantu aku membuat pilihan. Aku masih tak ada jawapan.

Tapi hari ini aku bertemu sesuatu:

"A woman in Islam has got no financial obligations - The financial obligation is laid on the shoulders of the man in the family - Therefore she need not work for her livelihood. It is the duty of the father or the brother, before she is married and the duty of the husband or the son, after she is married to look after her lodging, boarding, clothing and financial aspects of her." Dr. Zakir Naik

Yang mana sangat melegakan hati. Dan aku teringat penjelasan seorang teman:

"Seorang anak dan wanita itu diminta patuh pada ayah dan suaminya kerana merekalah yang menanggung segala keperluan dan dosa kita."

Allahu, untuk apalah aku berduka cita? Aku hidup bukan untuk bekerja - itu tugas orang lelaki. So, fret no more. Hahaha

Misery

I am a mess
Having so many dreams
Not knowing my true passion
Indecisive

For record

Baby giiiirrlllll
Happy birthday!!!! Thanks for being there for me. Know that I'll be there for you whenever you need me too. Hehe
Love ya!

salaaaaam baby!
happy birthdaaaaayyyyyyyy
yeaaay
semoga apa sahaja yang kau hajatkan akan tercapai dan sentiasa diredhai Allah amin! balik kita celebrate ea, love you baby leen

Happy birthday kakanda haha. Pls smile cs it soothe ya heart. Keep up the good work. DL lagi lagi DL. Selalu lah menghadap Allah bila bercelaru. Pimpinlah adinda2 mu haha. Dah tua dah 20. So, act matang boleh? Kbye.

A birthday shoutout to le pwetty friend from high school, leen! May Allah shower you with happiness, health and wealth! Stay strong n sweet okayy?
Have a blast syg!

Assalamualaikum.. Betol ke hri ni hri jdi kak yong klu betoi HappY BIRthDAY semoga pnjg umur dn dimurahkn rezeki. Hope slalu jdi plajar cmerlang amin...

Happy birthday Leen...Semoga dipnjangkn umur n berjaya dunia dan akhirat...:D

happy birthday Leen !! semoga dipanjangkan umur,dimurahkan rezeki dipertemukan jodoh yang baik.. :') loveyou. :*

These are some wishes and dua's from my girls on my 20th birthday.

Thank you girls I love you all!